Looking in the mirror today, I discovered that the gray in my hair is multiplying on an hourly basis. Let me tell you, beginning this fifth decade of life has been all about walking on…forgetting what is behind and pressing on to what is ahead. I am not dead, yet, so there is still much for me to learn and grow and thrive in. Also, it is about acting from a place of centered-ness in Christ. This alone is a post for another day, but I feel like I am learning a secret in taking back some ground that has been stolen from me.
In fact, just this morning, I was having my prayer time and heard distinctly that God has a lot of life for me left to live and walk and breathe in His air on this planet. I guess I should share the back-story here. I was thinking about how I love being a mom of small children, but they’ve been small for thirteen years now, and it wears on a person. Often I have to say no to some kind of serving, like Habitat for Humanity, when I’d really like to serve there.
That is not to say that I am not soaking up the time with our children. I love them and their ages and stages. I love especially when I am fully present with them and what they are saying and doing–making a memory, if you will. I really don’t love the days when I am spinning around in distraction and missing them and what they say and do. Do you understand?
One thing that Satan is about is distraction. Be it events happening or situations we cannot control, I know what I’m like when I’m distracted–peace is gone and patience is nil. My heart is in a bad place then. And I am not fully pouring out God’s blessings on others, because I have not allowed Him to pour in. It’s a mess, I tell you.
The past couple of years, I have been full up with distractions. Most of them have not been events, as much as conflict with people. That’s a sure distraction for me. Because you see, I am conscientious to a fault. It’s as if sometimes I do not own myself, but have given the reins of me to others. Then, when conflict arises, I go down for the count. For I feel that there must have been something wrong in me for the conflict to happen. Maybe I wasn’t walking with God, maybe I wasn’t hearing Him clearly. Maybe I’m just flat out mean…do you see the struggle?
I keep turning over and over situations and events and filtering it through wrong thinking. Really, it’s a lack of confidence and also lousy boundaries. For often, God has been leading and I did respond rightly and I was walking with God. Also? In this life, I will have trouble…I will have conflict with people. So will you. Jesus says, take heart. He has overcome the world.
But Satan would tell me it was my own mishandling of the situation that got me in such positions. He is all about distraction. You can be prideful being full of confidence or by debasing yourself (putting yourself down). Well, Satan would play on that part of me–the conscientious part–and it would end up with me debasing myself (cause you see I’d get stuck on what I did wrong or was it wrong and all that). My sincere self would get caught up in a mucky-mirey mess. And it made me a good target of the enemy to play on.
The one day a few weeks back, I began to think about it all (in the shower–that’s often where I hear God the best), and God told me to get in the covering He has provided. I have covering not only in my God, but also in my husband. For one particular current conflict, I was to stay in that shelter. For anything that Satan would try to use and harm me–to target my heart and steal my joy in Jesus–he would have to go through my husband and through my God first.
All of a sudden, the weight and worry dropped off. For there is freedom in covering. Perhaps you are single…well then your covering is Christ, and my friend, you know that He is enough covering for you. If you are married, are you fighting your own battles? Or have you discovered the freedom of covering?
What that means for me and for you is that we need to be praying for our husbands, praying for them as they are the point men in our battles. Specifically, they are the ones to take the first hit. So our part is to get behind them and provide the back up support in prayer.
For me, that has given me the freedom to walk within the good and right boundaries that God has given to me. I no longer hand the reins of my life or my joy, even, to someone else. They have no right to our reins. But daily, we choose to walk in covering and security that God has provided. And we pray. We pray for those covering us. We pray for those, who would harm us.
As my good friend Kim told me the other day, we pray for their right relationship with God. It’s more about that than about them making us feel better or righting something that went wrong or even us telling them how they hurt us. Our part is in restoration. I’m still chewing on those words and what they mean. I’m still turning them around and wondering what they mean to me personally. Even so, they fit right in with covering and boundaries.
Maybe these words meet you right where you are today. If so, leave a comment and let me know how I can pray for you, friend. Boundaries are good. Covering is freedom. And joy in the Lord? Well, you know…that is where your strength lies. Embrace it!
“HE WHO dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand]. I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust!” Psalm 91:1-2 Amplified