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Leveled

July 6, 2012 By
Leveled

It all started about three months ago.  I began to consistently pray a specific prayer: Lord, sift me. Lord break me.  Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Less of me, Lord, and more of you.

So you know what has happened since then? Ripping life. Trauma. Anxiety. Mental distress. Struggle with the same problems.  Struggle with new ones. Disappointment. Discouragement. Weariness that goes so deep, I couldn’t even make a map for you. Anger. Distrust. Cynicism.

There was out-working of all of this on various days–with tears, angry words, and other disagreeable discourse.

Then there was peace. Quiet. Stillness. Calm.

I believe the answer to this prayer has come in the form of leveling of myself–stripped of all pride and laying face down.  Not grovelling, mind you, no.  But surrender. Surrender over and over again to God’s plans for my life.  Surrender to His timing–His way, His how.

What shall come out of these ashes, I do not yet know.  But I know that it will be good.  I know that it will shine forth in beauty.  I know that it will come without the need to be known or understood by any man or woman. That affirmation that has always driven me has been tossed out at a roadside, park waste receptacle, never to be heard from again (I hope). I also know that it will come without the need for receiving credit or recognition.  For every crown, I lay at His feet. Jesus alone is worthy.

You see, underlying all of this is great loss, accusation without defense and a lose-lose situation.  Only God can restore what has been ripped from my hands.  Only God can make a way from the crookedest pathway. I have One, who stands in my place.  I have Jesus.  And His nod of approval over my life is all I need.  So I now stand under a beautiful weight of daily carrying the cross, which He has faithfully allowed me to bear.  I follow Him.  And there alone, I find peace.

It’s like an old injury I struggle with in my right ankle.  It needs daily exercise to be loose and willing enough for me to use it. When I don’t exercise it, my walking is a limping forward.  It’s painful, embarrassing even.  But with daily exercise, I have freedom to run! God’s weights upon us are always, always for us and for good, building core strength built upon a strong and firm foundation–Jesus.

Now, you may be asking, why?  Why would I pray such a prayer?  Why would I even care or bother? I’ll tell you why.  I just got to the point where I was sick of myself, sick of who I was becoming, sick of the same old topics being rehashed in the same base way. I have reached the point in my walk where I care more about God having His way through me than me having my way for my own comfort.

And it’s uncomfortable. It’s hard.  It’s weighty.

But I am not alone.  Daily I pick it up.  Daily I walk it out. All with Jesus. If I am stripped of everything I hold dear for the sake of His call, I say YES, in advance. I do not long for that, no.  But I am willing.  And everything we hold out willingly to our Savior, He sees our pureness of heart and He shines through.  That’s all I want–I want for Jesus to shine through and make a difference in this little piece of ground under my feet and surrounding. Even if…

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Covered by Love or Lies?

October 31, 2011 By
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Yesterday at church we focused on Colossians 3:1-17.  Now Colossians 3:1-3 are my life verses.  I often repeat them with my name in it.  They have deep meaning to me.  For I am not who I used to be–though some would like to say I am exactly who I used to be.  They are incorrect in their assessment.  And I refuse to shake hands with those kinds of statements.  How about you?

“Well, you know how ____ is….”

“_______ always is such a hypocrite.”

“I know ______, she is holier than thou.”

“_______ will never get her act together.”

I guess, I used to be.  Or maybe I gave the wrong perception or operated from the wrong motives. Even so, that is no longer who I am. When God looks at me, He sees me as His beloved child.  And there is nothing that can separate me from Him or His love.  I am covered by His love not the lies that some might slanderously speak over me.

In Colossians 3:1-17 you will notice that there are two kinds of lists–the list to take off and the list to put on, like clothing.  Read below, put your name in it and notice the two lists:

Since, then, ______, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For ______, you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your (_____’_)  life, appears, then you (_______) also will appear with him in glory.

______, put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.  You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived, _______. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

Therefore, ______, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, ________, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, _________, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

OK, maybe you read it…maybe you skimmed.  Either way, go back and read it one more time, please.

What I want to put forth here, and doing so succinctly is this: For the put off list, notice that lying covers the behaviors here.  We can live this way and cover it with lies.  Whether we are believers or say we are, we cover with lies.  Or perhaps we are overt in our behavior.  That is absolutely true within our generation. But for the most part, I have witnessed and I have myself carried out this sort of covering, I act and then I cover with lies.

So do you. God says here, put this behavior off, like clothing that is no longer fitting.  The thing about clothing is that we have a choice about how we are clothed (You can read more about that here.). When it comes to spiritual-behavioral-emotional clothing, we choose it.

We can also choose to put it off–not making agreements with others who knew us then.  Right this second, we can be who we were made to be!  It happens by putting on the clothing in the verses above.  And what covers it?  It is covered by LOVE.

There is nothing and no one that can separate any of us from the love of Christ–no opinions or gossip or slander or judgement.  We are in Christ.  We are made in his image.  Now, let’s walk in WHO we are–we are His.  And you know what?  He has got you covered!! For He is LOVE–He is our covering!

Covered by His Love,

 

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The Gospel and Generosity

October 20, 2011 By
Hand Reaching

…when justice for the poor is connected not to guilt but to grace and to the gospel, this “pushes the button” down deep in believer’ souls, and they begin to wake up.  – Tim Keller Generous Justice

I have been reading recently books and articles on the subject of justice and helping the poor.  It has come out of a desire to understand the church universal’s role biblically in the face of a cultural mindset that seeks the answers in government institutions.  I have wrestled with what I think about that – I want to know what the right course of action is – thus the readings.

But I have also found in me a desire to be more generous on a personal level.  One would think that two years on the mission field in Peru, working with some of the poorest in the world, I would have a a heart of generosity.  Unfortunately, the opposite happened – as a result of my experience in Peru, I found myself hard, calloused and cynical.  How could that be?  Well…

I forgot the gospel.

I forgot how poor I am.

I was offended by the bad behavior some of the poor would use to get what they needed.

I wanted them to be honest and grateful and, in some way, earn my generosity.

I forgot that I am just like they are.

Poor in spirit.  Poor in heart.  Self-protecting.  Self-justifying.  I will do whatever I need to do to get what I think I need.

I also am poor – not in the same way – but poor nonetheless.

Tim Keller, in his little gem of a book, Generous Justice, calls believers to consider those suffering poverty and injustice,  just as God considered us – as  poor and in need.  As Jesus so eloquently states to the Pharisees, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.  I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.”(Luke 5:31-32)  It is because we were shown generosity from God the Holy One, condescending, becoming “poor” in more ways than just taking on flesh, in order to rescue us from the slavery of sin and death, that we would overflow with grace and generosity for others, especially those who are suffering day to day, moment to moment, just to survive without basic needs.  Not out of guilt, as the quote above suggests.  Not out of legalism – we HAVE to love the poor because that’s what we are supposed to do.  Not out of a political agenda that seeks to manipulate the weak for it’s own uses.  Not out of a feeling of superiority – pride – I’m so good I even look after the poor….

We do it because we know that we are just the same.  There are many ways to be poor.  Our Lord Jesus became poor in every way that one can – financially, relationally, physically, and yes, even spiritually – that He might raise us up with him in glory.  It is the gospel that enables us to do the same for one another of mankind.

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One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

September 1, 2011 By
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One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

Please leave a comment on this post OR email Trish (specifying which gift you are interested in) to be entered. All drawings will be on September 8th at 5pm MST to give everyone a chance to enter.

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Devotional by Gary Chapman

September 1, 2011 By
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Love as a Way of Life 90-Day Devotional by Gary Chapman and Elisa Stanford

Please leave a comment on this post OR email Trish (specifying which gift you are interested in) to be entered. All drawings will be on September 8th at 5pm MST to give everyone a chance to enter.

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Coming In and Going Out

June 11, 2011 By
Be still

I was thinking the other day about what I should write on. Which room did I need to check-in to? Running through the “house” in my mind, I stopped in the foyer. What an impactful room! If you actually have one, I bet it is like the sneak peek of your house. Scattered shoes of varying sizes tell of children running in and out the door. Canes and walking sticks represent the golden years of life. Chaos would tell you it was my house, well, that and my husband’s hunting trophies mounted on the walls. Light peering in the front door or side window warms the house and our souls. The foyer welcomes our guests and families into our homes and hopefully provides a safe haven from the daily grind we all face.

While I was reflecting on the foyer, how it is the first thing we see, I was reminded it is also the last place we see before we walk out. The place where we check our reflections in the mirror to make sure everything is pressed and neat. Everything tucked and in place.  Backpacks lined up, briefcases set out, we check to make sure we have all we need for the day.

The foyer of God’s house is most definitely a safe haven for us to run. We can come in out of the storm, the heat or the bitter cold we have faced during the day; drop all our baggage by the bench, take a deep breath, and rest. We are home. We are safe. We are comforted.

It is also the place where our morning pep talk with the Lord can happen. Imagine Him sending you on your way. He straightens your clothes. He hands you the tools you need for the day. He reminds you who you are in Christ Jesus. He tells you that you belong to Him. He kisses you on the forehead and sends you out. Not alone though, for He sends His Spirit out with you.

As often as I need a safe place to drop my stuff at the day’s end, I also need a confidence boost in the morning. I need to look in the mirror and be reminded that I am a child of the Most High King. Yes, there are expectations with that and they are to be remembered, but more importantly there is love. I am loved. Whether I walk in the door at the end of the day having failed or having been faithful, if I am His, I am loved.

For some of you, home is not or was not a safe place. You snuck in your house quietly and out as fast as you could.  You struggle to find rest and security in the image of a house.  I want to tell you, Christ has prepared a wonderful house for you (John 14:1-3), should you choose to move in. His foyer will be grander than anything you could imagine. No yelling or pain or fear.  A place made just for you. You very own hook to hang your baggage on.

While we may not get to see the entire house on this side of heaven, I believe we can have a sneak peek. Our relationship with the Lord is just the front door to all of eternity with Him. Walk into the foyer and let His love wipe off the grime of the day, or even days. Let His light warm your soul. Hang your bags on your hook. Take your shoes off for you are on holy ground. Let Jesus minister to you right then and there. Wounds tended too, burdens lightened, emotions settled, get up and get ready to face the day again. Walk out knowing you are His child, precious, dearly loved and most certainly not alone. The foyer will be waiting for your return.

Psalm 121:7-8  (NKJV)
The LORD shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore.


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A “GOOD” Housecleaning

May 25, 2011 By
tilwe grapevine

But I earned this privilege. I did what I was supposed to do and stayed away from what I wasn’t. Why do they get to _____________

Yes…yes, you did, and you got to do exactly that. This is the beauty of the gospel…they can have it too.

You get to do exactly ____________. Without the shame, without the consequences, and without the knowledge that everyone else might know.  You have received exactly what you were promised. You kept the “law”. You got your reward.

Then why do they get to? It is not fair!

Let me ask you something. Can you honestly say you stood there blameless? That you stood before the group spotless…having kept every letter of the law?

No, I can’t.

And are the stains of your “small” infractions any less stains than their big ones?

No.

Does the fact that your stains are not as obvious make them any less damaging to the white dress of purity YOU clothe yourself in?

No.

Just because they are small stains that you think you can live with, does that mean I don’t see them?

no……

Grace….

Sound familiar? Any resemblance to any thoughts or even actual conversations you have had with the Lord? It sounds a whole lot like the one I had a few weeks ago. Alone…cleaning my kitchen… the Lord decided to do some housecleaning Himself. He decided it was time to address some of the pride that had built up in my heart over being “good”, being a rule follower. He wanted to remind me of the grace that I live and breathe by daily yet struggle to give out.

I thought to myself how much I sounded like the day laborers in Matthew 20. How much I was fussing when, in actuality, I had received exactly what I was promised. How much I sounded like the prodigal’s brother from Luke 15. Bitter that there was great celebration for the one who returned but no apparent praise for the one who never left. I thought of the times in Matthew 6 when Christ tells of how some have “received their reward” on earth, with no eternal reward awaiting.

I think for years I have lived with a misconception about grace. I thought grace meant you got off scot free. Yet in my own life, I know that is not the case.

There are consequences. Grace helps you deal with them.

There is embarrassment and shame. Grace lifts your head in the midst of them.

There will be people who will know and talk. Grace whispers you are my beloved.

Now, I am a rule follower. I am. I don’t expect that to change much. At all really. I also expect others to follow the rules. I don’t see that one changing either. However, it can be tempered with more grace that it has been. While holding to that expectation, when it is not met, grace can speak.

You are loved.

You lift up your head.

You are not alone.

It is what grace says to me. It is what I am called to say to others. To do otherwise would negate the grace of Christ in my own life. Missing the opportunity to share grace might very well negate Christ in another’s life, and that is not something I want to do.

Galatians 2:20-21 (NKJV)

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.  I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain.


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other gods

May 24, 2011 By
bible coffee

A few years ago, I began an overview study in Isaiah–looking for Christ in each chapter.  Studying God’s Word is not for a select few, it is for everyone, you just need a few tools and a seeking heart for God.  In studying, all you need are a few tools to begin.  Your Bible, pen, notebook, a concordance and a Bible dictionary–or you can find all the study tools you need online with Bible Gateway and Blue Letter Bible. Read the portion you want to study.  Re-read it and write down the words that most interest you.  Engage in the Word, by allowing the Holy Spirit to direct your time. Then dig into the phrases and context.

Today I will share my insights from Isaiah 26, where there is much to glean.  One of the best messages I ever heard was on Isaiah 26:3 by Beth Moore at a Living Proof Live event in Little Rock, Arkansas several years ago. The part of her message that most struck me was about this verse: “You will keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You.” Picture laying your head on God’s lap and He has His Hand upon your head, as you lay there. He is then applying His thoughts to yours by showing you HOW to think about all the WHAT that is going on.

Do you have a difficult situation? Put your head on God’s lap and pour out your heart before Him. Then let Him speak over you in that situation. I often pray, “Lord, help me to see how to think about all this WHAT going on in my life.” Perspective. Oh, I need it! A good Word from my Sister, Beth!

What I first saw when I read Isaiah 26 was that our strength lies in our salvation! Our salvation through Jesus Christ has become the walls and ramparts (protective barrier prepared to fortify) of our city. We have a strong Defender! His name is Jesus.

I also noticed that the city’s gates are not closed, they are open. Salvation is not an exclusive club. It can be accessed by anyone, who comes with faith. All we need to do is share with others about knowing Christ–his blood shed on the cross to cover all their sins and make them white as snow. Are your gates closed or open?

The third verse has been a stay for me through the years. I have often thought upon the verse to the point, where I have it memorized like this (you will not be surprised): “Holly, God will keep you in perfect peace. Keep your mind stayed upon Him! Holly, put your trust in Him.” I talk to myself like this all the time. Personalize the Word of God. It is for you. It is written TO you. Why should you not insert your name? There are scriptures and promises that through the ages have marked the way of men and women, because they took it for their own. Is His Word something you cling to as your own? His matchless, changeless character has kept His Word. It is true, every bit.

So try it for yourself with verse four: “(Your name), Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.” What does that mean when you say it? It means that the Lord God, the covenant LORD, is worthy of your trust in ALL situations. It means He keeps His promises. And it means that forever, He is strong, steadfast and firm.

Do you want your path to be level and smooth? Then look to verse seven: “The path of the righteous is level; O upright One, you make the way of the righteous smooth.” It doesn’t say He might make, it says He WILL make. Our part is to be righteous. Oh, you say, then I guess I cannot take this verse to heart, righteousness is an impossible standard for me, a sinner.

I have Good News! That Good News is Christ Jesus. When you ask Him to be your Savior, He becomes the righteousness in and over your life. Like clothing, we daily need to put on Christ. In putting Him on, we will long to know Him more by reading His Word. We will long to please Him more, by obeying His Word. We will long to serve Him more, for His love in us COMPELS us to do something for others. Ahhh, the great exchange occurs (His life for ours)…and we are never the same. Jesus becomes our desire.

Need a verse for your life? Verse eight is a life verse for our family: “Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.” I am laughing, because His Word never returns void. In our lives, we have over and over and over had to wait on the LORD. Every single time, we have understood that in the waiting, we were growing in the Lord and declaring His renown wherever we went. Oh, it is a hard path to travel, but I would never exchange it–no, not for all the wealth and fame and honor this world might offer.

You see we have longed for Him in the night, we have seen His Hand upon us, we have learned His ways (oh, there is much left to learn!) and He has established peace for us in our family.

How has this come about?

Verses 13-14 say it well:
O LORD, our God, other lords besides you have ruled over us,
but your name alone do we honor.

They are now dead, they live no more;
those departed spirits do not rise.
You punished them and brought them to ruin;
you wiped out all memory of them.

Oh Praise the LORD! I am so glad. For indeed, we HAVE had other lords besides the LORD our God. We have bowed down to other gods. They ruled over us, and we walked bent over and with a limp–blind to see anything of God’s Hand. Only now, walking under the authority of Christ, have we found that we can truly see how we were before. We are quite familiar now with all our ways during those times. God has taken His Word and spoken over those times. He has put to death our sin. He remembers them no more.

In light of who Jesus is and who we were, we begin to see that even then, He was there. Today, we walk in that Light, His Light…oh, Praise God for that. So many gods…not one worthy. Every one, cast down before the feet of Christ. Then in love, our Savior, Jesus, became the Lifter of our Heads.

Is your head hanging low today over some situation? Lay that situation down. Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly (Colossians 3:16). Let Him fill your mouth again with laughter (Psalm 126:2, Job 8:21)! The King of Glory has come in (Psalm 24:7-10)! Open wide the gates of your city, that many may come and know Him. Let Him come in and enlarge the boundaries of the city. There is room…Christ made room. Come on in!

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Freedom in Covering

May 2, 2011 By
Courtyard at the Irish Museum of Modern Art

Looking in the mirror today, I discovered that the gray in my hair is multiplying on an hourly basis.  Let me tell you, beginning this fifth decade of life has been all about walking on…forgetting what is behind and pressing on to what is ahead.  I am not dead, yet, so there is still much for me to learn and grow and thrive in. Also, it is about acting from a place of centered-ness in Christ.  This alone is a post for another day, but I feel like I am learning a secret in taking back some ground that has been stolen from me.

In fact, just this morning, I was having my prayer time and heard distinctly that God has a lot of life for me left to live and walk and breathe in His air on this planet.  I guess I should share the back-story here.  I was thinking about how I love being a mom of small children, but they’ve been small for thirteen years now, and it wears on a person.  Often I have to say no to some kind of serving, like Habitat for Humanity, when I’d really like to serve there.

That is not to say that I am not soaking up the time with our children.  I love them and their ages and stages.  I love especially when I am fully present with them and what they are saying and doing–making a memory, if you will.  I really don’t love the days when I am spinning around in distraction and missing them and what they say and do.  Do you understand?

One thing that Satan is about is distraction.  Be it events happening or situations we cannot control, I know what I’m like when I’m distracted–peace is gone and patience is nil.  My heart is in a bad place then. And I am not fully pouring out God’s blessings on others, because I have not allowed Him to pour in.  It’s a mess, I tell you.

The past couple of years, I have been full up with distractions.  Most of them have not been events, as much as conflict with people.  That’s a sure distraction for me. Because you see, I am conscientious to a fault. It’s as if sometimes I do not own myself, but have given the reins of me to others.  Then, when conflict arises, I go down for the count.  For I feel that there must have been something wrong in me for the conflict to happen.  Maybe I wasn’t walking with God, maybe I wasn’t hearing Him clearly. Maybe I’m just flat out mean…do you see the struggle?

I keep turning over and over situations and events and filtering it through wrong thinking.  Really, it’s a lack of confidence and also lousy boundaries.  For often, God has been leading and I did respond rightly and I was walking with God. Also? In this life, I will have trouble…I will have conflict with people.  So will you. Jesus says, take heart.  He has overcome the world.

But Satan would tell me it was my own mishandling of the situation that got me in such positions.  He is all about distraction.  You can be prideful being full of confidence or by debasing yourself (putting yourself down). Well, Satan would play on that part of me–the conscientious part–and it would end up with me debasing myself (cause you see I’d get stuck on what I did wrong or was it wrong and all that). My sincere self would get caught up in a mucky-mirey mess. And it made me a good target of the enemy to play on.

The one day a few weeks back, I began to think about it all (in the shower–that’s often where I hear God the best), and God told me to get in the covering He has provided.  I have covering not only in my God, but also in my husband.  For one particular current conflict, I was to stay in that shelter.  For anything that Satan would try to use and harm me–to target my heart and steal my joy in Jesus–he would have to go through my husband and through my God first.

All of a sudden, the weight and worry dropped off.  For there is freedom in covering.  Perhaps you are single…well then your covering is Christ, and my friend, you know that He is enough covering for you. If you are married, are you fighting your own battles?  Or have you discovered the freedom of covering?

What that means for me and for you is that we need to be praying for our husbands, praying for them as they are the point men in our battles.  Specifically, they are the ones to take the first hit.  So our part is to get behind them and provide the back up support in prayer.

For me, that has given me the freedom to walk within the good and right boundaries that God has given to me.  I no longer hand the reins of my life or my joy, even, to someone else.  They have no right to our reins. But daily, we choose to walk in covering and security that God has provided.  And we pray.  We pray for those covering us.  We pray for those, who would harm us.

As my good friend Kim told me the other day, we pray for their right relationship with God.  It’s more about that than about them making us feel better or righting something that went wrong or even us telling them how they hurt us. Our part is in restoration.  I’m still chewing on those words and what they mean. I’m still turning them around and wondering what they mean to me personally.  Even so, they fit right in with covering and boundaries.

Maybe these words meet you right where you are today.  If so, leave a comment and let me know how I can pray for you, friend.  Boundaries are good.  Covering is freedom.  And joy in the Lord?  Well, you know…that is where your strength lies.  Embrace it!

“HE WHO dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand].  I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust!” Psalm 91:1-2 Amplified

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