Recently, our worship leader prayed these words, “Lord, wreck our lives with Your Love.” And those words struck me at the core. Do I really want to ask God to wreck my life??

I’ve never been much of a daredevil, though I have chosen daring paths before and even was glad about it. But for the most part I really like safe and planned. You can ask my Chris, I am not much for off-roads here in Colorado, though he truly enjoys them so much. If we are in a precarious place, I get edgy and frightened–and it truly makes my Chris mad at me. For he wants me to trust him. He’s an excellent and skilled driver. I know it. But my actions do not follow through–I do not act like I trust him.

It’s much the same way with my relationship with the Lord. I know Him. I know He is FOR me. I know that He is WITH me. I know that He is ABLE to deliver me from, through and in the fire. But often my actions do not show trust in Him. I’m always looking for the safety net, when He IS the safety net. Like with my Chris, I’m sure it frustrates and disappoints God. For He has shown Himself in my life. He has been faithful and is faithful. He has proven to me that He is trustworthy.

So I think, “Lord, wreck my life with Your love? What exactly does that mean?”

It means that I take my perfect plan of a life and home and I submit it to His perfect plan–that may look altogether different from my own.

It means that the women I most look up to in the faith–Elisabeth Elliot, Corrie ten Boom–became women who ran hard after God, even when His plans, His journey for them, looked altogether different than what they hoped. If I want to live life like them, I need to fully trust that God has BEST in mind when difficult life happens.

That does not mean that I have to be a martyr–or that I’ll lose my husband or family. It may just mean that the difficult things I have faced, like bankruptcy, loss of family and friends, and job loss, will shape my life into something beautiful–if I will let God shape it and trust Him.

It may mean that the things I let define me will no longer define me or shape my future. So this may create a new normal in my life, which is a difficult path to walk.

To fully know God and fully trust Him to wreck my life with His love, I have to surrender to Him. I must continue praying to surrender to God’s plans and be filled fully with His spirit, which is a battle cry to the enemy our our souls. I have faced the roughest two weeks I have ever had; yet, I feel the wind of God’s breath on my face. And I can see some break-throughs in areas I have been praying to see the walls come down.

This topic is not finished, for I am certain that Casey’s prayer might have just changed my life. For I want God to wreck my life with His love. I am so tired of safe living, people pleasing and letting others define me. God is the shaper of my life–and He is the Holy One.

Let this picture bore into your mind of who this Holy One is…Psalm 18:6-19 (The Message)

“A hostile world! I call to God,
I cry to God to help me.
From his palace he hears my call;
my cry brings me right into his presence—
a private audience!

Earth wobbles and lurches;
huge mountains shake like leaves,
Quake like aspen leaves
because of his rage.
His nostrils flare, bellowing smoke;
his mouth spits fire.
Tongues of fire dart in and out;
he lowers the sky.
He steps down;
under his feet an abyss opens up.
He’s riding a winged creature,
swift on wind-wings.
Now he’s wrapped himself
in a trenchcoat of black-cloud darkness.
But his cloud-brightness bursts through,
spraying hailstones and fireballs.
Then God thundered out of heaven;
the High God gave a great shout,
spraying hailstones and fireballs.
God shoots his arrows—pandemonium!
He hurls his lightnings—a rout!
The secret sources of ocean are exposed,
the hidden depths of earth lie uncovered
The moment you roar in protest,
let loose your hurricane anger.

But me he caught—reached all the way
from sky to sea; he pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved—surprised to be loved! “

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