by Holly | July 18, 2013 10:16 am
I don’t feel angry anymore or hurt or resentful–a broken stronghold given to me by your hand, Lord Jesus. Further down this road, I find my heart full of joy and peace. It all came about when I FULLY released everything to You. I never realized that my holding onto something so precious and broken was in effect an act of pride. Once I released it–Yes, even with the undue judgments that are bound to be made–I found complete peace. Amazing, unrelenting peace in my soul. Though an orphan, I have been ADOPTED. And it is good. I am good.
I don’t feel desperate or helpless. The financial strain of the past seven years has been hard on my health…literally hard on my heart. Bankruptcy, short-falls, debt and near foreclosure have left their scar on my body. I truly thought there was NO WAY we could ever move on from that place of desert and need. But I believe there was a time allotted for us–not to punish us, but to teach us–and that time has now come to an end. So unbelievable to see how God ushered in a NEW DAY. We went from owing a thousand extra every month to actually saving that much–and potentially more in the future. How in the world can this be? Only GOD. Only by His way of dividing the loaves and the fishes. That’s my God.
I don’t feel alone or needy, trying to please others for their friendship. I am comfortable in my own skin and learning to enjoy the ebbs and flows of friendship. It is really an accomplishment. I don’t think it was always this way, either. Somewhere, deep down, I remember the confident one, who could take a stand. It is an inner struggle–speaking the truth lovingly and at the same time stepping back in graciousness, to allow some to move on. It is not in unkindness, but giving others margin to grow in His light–and trusting that if God brings them back ’round, I may walk with them once more. Such a release of control it takes to allow God to control the stream of life…not as if I ever could, but oh how I thought somehow I did–what a foolish thought! That confidence that used to come naturally, as a young person, now comes supernaturally, as God is now my Source and my Supply. I can now dance, freely, knowing that I am hidden not in my own skin necessarily, but in Christ’s. He is the parameter of my ability and strength to love others without exception and completely.
Friends? Sometimes this love can happen from afar. Give yourselves the permission to do so–and to stop trying to control the waterways. God controls. We release. We love. We live! God directs. It is the freely and lightly of God!
So for all these don’ts and more, I am finding my place of grateful has become my home. To live is Christ. To die is gain. How can you find your place of gratefulness today? Find it in the arms of Jesus Christ. He has held me, collected my tears, bore my sorrows, provided shelter in the unrelentingly heat-filled days. He is my place, where I sing beneath the shelter of His wings…freely and unabashedly.
Now to Him, who is able to keep you from falling and to present you faultless before the Presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen. Jude 1:24-5
Friends, if you’re stuck today, please email me or comment below and I will pray for you, knowing that He doesn’t fill halfway, but completely and over-flowingly. Jesus can help you today, this moment even.
With Gratefulness in His Name,
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