My Confession

My Confession

Lord, we’ve had this talk many times.

You know I have spent the better part of the last two years sitting in a church pew, but sitting out of church. You know how long its been since I have had what I would call a “church family”. You know the wounds and You know the scars.

You also know how hard this heart could be. Just like a dormant knife, I lost my luster, unable to reflect the light of Your truth into my own life. You know how dull I had become. What was once a sharpened weapon against the enemy now felt like a blunt blade trying to cut through the darkness in her own power, and only damaging herself in the process.

 Jesus, You know that I knew.  I could feel it happening. I attempted to fix it.  I tried to choose what tools would sharpen me, how and when. I tried to set this up on my terms, and You rarely do things on my terms.

Like a master blade smith, You have continued to shape me. You have trimmed the edges of my cynical mind. You have flat-out knocked chunks off this scarred exterior. You have cut the stone away to expose this heart of flesh.  In ways I never could have expected, You have enlisted the church in Your efforts. Whether they were gentle swipes used to finish the edge or harsh strikes used to reshape me, my brothers and sisters in Christ have been a part of this effort. Could You have done it alone? Absolutely, but You chose not to. You knew I needed them. To encourage. To challenge. To remind this wounded heart of what it is to be invested in the lives of others and have them be invested in me. 

Lord, we aren’t done yet. You know that. This beating heart is longing for the “church family” again.  You have restored that desire. You will also fulfill it.

In Your time.

In Your way.

With Your people.  

1 Corinthians 12:24-26 (NKJV)

” …But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it, that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.

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About Rhonda Baker

Rhonda grew up in rural Arkansas, the oldest of four girls. She now lives in Texas with her husband and their two MCs. After a decade of teaching in the public school system, Rhonda stepped away to focus her time on her family. She is passionate not only about the integrity of God's Holy Word, but about its life changing power and our daily choice to believe it. Her adventures with the MCs and HH can be followed at her blog, aptly entitled I CHOOSE (

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