Over the past couple of years, my time in the “foyer” of my own home has been unhurried and peaceful. After getting our MCs off to school, I had time to dig deep into the Word. I had time to sit at the feet of Jesus without feeling rushed. I could linger over Scripture and not see a million things I needed to wash, pick up, fold, organize or clean.
As of 13 weeks ago, those days are now long gone. Going back to work has altered my time in the foyer, and not for the better. These days, the foyer in my home is simply something I need to hurry up and get out of so I can be where I need to be on time. It is something I scurry the kids through to catch the bus. An area where I just make sure all the other stuff I need to do is not directly in the way, or at least to the side enough I can step over it to get out.
Coming in is not much better. Walking through the door I am bombarded with the facts that there are clothes to be washed and dishes to be done. In plain sight are the stack of paper work I need to go through and a pile of laundry to be folded. I see folders with homework that needs to be done and know that for these MCs, I am required to be right there with them every step of the way. Let me not forget my husband, who is convinced he needs to eat every night… and not just sandwiches.
My days of lingering over scripture have been few. The un-hurried pace I had before is gone. Some days, it is full on survival mode. If I can just make it to the weekend….If I can make it just until Thanksgiving… Summer….if I can just make it until summer.
Does any of this sound familiar? Does my routine seem to shadow yours? Good, then we can both know we are not alone.
One of my biggest frustrations has been the little voice in my head that keeps repaeting,
There has got to be a way you can do this better. You have got to figure out how to run this home more effeiciently. You have got to get it together and soon.
See the problem?
All my scurrying has caused me to be focused on me. What do I need to do? How can I fix this? When will I ever have a system down pat? Answer is I won’t.
But Jesus can. If I will stop long enough to let Him. His fix may not look like what I thought. His efficicency may not be the June Cleaver model I hold to so strongly in my head. It will be better.
So here is my challenge to myself, and if you need to, I hope you will join me. In all my goings and doings, may I be purposful in stopping in the foyer to sit at Christ’s feet. To let Him prepare me for the day as I walk out and to let Him carry the burdens I picked up as I come home. If it means shutting the door to my room for just a few minutes, or locking myself in the bathroom for a quick respite (because honestly it is one of the few places I am alone), let me be deliberate in doing so. Though my days are not as carefree as they once were, the One who cares for me is still very much the same. Each day, may I allow the Holy Sprirt to remind me of this fact. May I pause to listen, may I pause to pray, and may I choose, in all my hustle and bustle, to stop in the foyer of God’s home and let Jesus guide my way.