The past six months have been formative months for me. I can say it no other way. I have gone deeper with God, knowing that He alone can sustain the pressings of my heart. He is after all, the One who formed it. He is forming it still. His Light has come and permeated the dark recesses of my heart. His power has amazed me. His ability, astounded. His love has come and become my foundation–firmly establishing me in Him.
One afternoon in March, I had time for a shower. The sun was gently filling the room. My heart was heavy–burdened with prayer. Of the many heavinesses upon my heart was the daily knowledge that we owed property taxes. They were not in our main mortgage. We owed over $3,300! And from where it would come, I had no idea. So I had daily been bringing this heavy weight to God.
This particular day, I prayed–almost jokingly, but not–for a fish with a coin in its mouth with our property taxes. Now, I often hear from (in my heart) and talk to God in the shower. With four kids, it is an uninterrupted place for me. So as I showered, I heard Him speak plainly, “Be at peace. I have taken care of this for you.”
From that place, I hoped I heard right and I made some decisions for the summer to not work–to be present and available for our children. It was a hard choice, because I am thinking, “$3,300! Where will it come from?”
Time passed…still no clue where the taxes would come from. They are due by the first week of June, which is right now. I began working for other goals the Lord had placed in my heart: being present with the kids, de-cluttering our home, down-sizing our stuff and finally getting rid of this weight I have carried–for years now, really. On the morning of May 23, I had my morning time with God–praying, reading my Bible and devotionals, praying more. I felt led to pray something particular, “Lord, today I am looking for the treasures You have for me.” Simple, right? Well, He knew I was looking for Him, watching to see Him work and show the strength of His mighty arm on our behalf.
I loaded up the kids to go to the YMCA, dropped them off to their designated places and I went to the upright bicycle with the scriptures I am memorizing, as I am planning to be at the SSMT event in January with Joanne. As I listened to TobyMac, I read these words from Tozer opposite my scripture verse, “God has said, ‘I AM THAT I AM’ (Ex 3:14), and we can only repeat in reverence, ‘O God Thou art.”
As I prayed, as I listened, my phone buzzed with a text from Chris: “Whoop! Property taxes are paid. Call me.” You better believe I bowed my head in thanks right then and there. I sat there stunned. After my workout I called. Apparently when they restructured our loan in February, they included these taxes. We had no idea they were being paid. Before we called, He answered!
I stand amazed in the Presence of Jesus the Nazarene, and wonder how He could love me, a sinner condemned, unclean, singing How marvelous! How wonderful! And my song shall ever be! How marvelous! How wonderful! is my Savior’s love for me! (and you!!)
Got some hard life? Got some trouble? Some worries? Some great concerns? Cast ALL your cares on Him. He cares for you. And if you hear His still small voice consoling your heart and telling you He has taken care of it, BELIEVE HIM! All things are possible!
About Holly
WHOOP is right!:)
Holly – yesterday I was listening to Tony Evans in the car. He said (and I’m paraphrasing – because I was driving and tried to type it in my phone really fast once I was parked), “Sometimes we ask God over and over and over for something – and He’s already done it! We don’t step out in faith because we’re waiting for an answer – but He’s already done it!”
LOVED reading about how you stepped out in faith – and about what He had already done for y’all!
Thank you soooooo much for sharing this. I was blessed to tears because I am going thru sooo many hard things right now but I know God is more than able to handle them all. So happy for your blessing and I know He has many more in store.
Great post Holly – and all praise to our provider who provides just in time.
I passed this along to a freidn who is in similar circumstances. Much love – we’ll talk soon – hopefully next week.