When you walk into your home, what do you feel? Anxiety, chaos, stress–or do you feel comfort, relaxation, protection, and peace?
Many years ago, I had a problem with wanting to have “the perfect home”. It was such a problem that I began to stress my entire family out. They were staying away, not wanting to be together, or spend time with one another.
One day, I cried out to God and asked Him–Lord, what is wrong? Why doesn’t anyone want to be here? Then He gently showed me how callous and uncaring I had been with my family. I raised my voice a lot, I expected perfection when others would help me clean (if it wasn’t done my way it was done wrong), I fussed at everyone for every. little. thing.
I apologized to God so many times during the course of that week. I begged for Him to help me find solace and peace and to create that within in the walls of my home. He did that and it has helped me immensely in creating a warm and inviting atmosphere within my family. Now instead of feeling like a place of chaos, my family views our home as a place of protection, away from the rest of the world.
If you need help in this area, here are a few tips that you can do that will help calm you and bring more peaceful surroundings in your home.
- Spend time with God daily. Whether it is in the morning, in the evening, or whenever that time is for you–spend it with God! It does not have to be 2 hours, 20 minutes, or even 10 minutes. If you have 5 spare minutes, spend it with God.
- Don’t stress over housework not getting done! This is where I struggle and must take it to the Lord daily. My “Martha mentality” takes over my “Mary heart” quite frequently and I have to put that ol’ gal in her place. Housework is not a priority over your family. It needs to be done–yes, but don’t stress out and make everybody else stressed in the process.
- Learn to speak to your family in a calm, soothing voice. If you find yourself always raising your tone when you speak to others, find a way to change that. I still catch myself doing this at times. When I see the look on my kids faces, I know that I have hurt their feelings with my words and my tone. Learn to curb that.
- Allow others to help you and then don’t criticize what they do to help. This used to be the main thing I did to stress me and everyone around me out. If someone does something nice for you, the only thing that should come out of your mouth are the words, “thank you”. Don’t say, Well thanks, but. . .–Leave that out! Just say thank you.
These are just a few ways you can make your home less stressful. Feel free to email me if you have any questions!
Good message Jennifer. I knew a sister in Christ many years ago who turned to me to pray with her for this same situation in her home. She said she struggled with being perfect but after helping her to see that only JESUS is Perfection and that HE is at work in and through us — and for her to enjoy her time with THE LORD, her family and friends and how her attitude about ‘everything’ was hindering not only her ability to enjoy what and who the LORD had placed in her life but also it hindered their ability to enjoy her — she prayed, she became proactive in being obedient to what the Holy Spirit was showing her and things changed dramatically for her.
I remember several months down the road she had invited me over for lunch and NOT everything was in it’s place and we laughed together!!! We had a great lunch!
God is good!
Thanks for sharing this. I’m sure many need to read it and be encouraged in their hearts.
Blessings to you Jennifer!
Dear Jennifer, I can totally relate to your post. I don’t believe I’m a perfectionist but I did always correct everyone how things are to be done. I still have issues with this but now I try really hard to keep them in my thoughts only and not share. Why this bothers me, I don’t know. I want people not to see me as a type “A” personality. I think a part of the problem is this: When I do anything, I do it to the best of my ability and except others to commit as I do. Well, you know that doesn’t work! Especially, with kids and spouses! Their commitment to clean the bathroom correctly is certainly not top on their list! I believe just being aware of my issue helps me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Kim
Thank you for the exact message that i needed to hear today.
May God bless you.
I’ve long since given up “freaking out” over the messy house. Nothing should be so important that if it is broken or stained your children see you as only caring about stuff. I love them. Bring on the kool-aid!