First Comes Love

You’ve heard the childhood chant that children said from amongst the giggles,

(Girls’ Name) and (Boy’s Name) sitting in a tree.


First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage.

First comes love.

Ladies, can you remember when you wanted to carve you love’s name in a tree, or desk; or scribble it on your notebooks…all of them!

Did you daydream and write his last name as yours?

No one could convince you otherwise that it wasn’t love. The real thing!

You’ve fallen in love, girl!

How about today? Are you blessing your husband with your love? Do you still have a crush on him?

I’d like to share a few ways to help cultivate love toward your husband.

  • Pray! Ask God to fill your heart to overflowing with love for Him, yourself and your husband.
  • Think lovely thoughts of your husband.
  • Smile at him regularly (even when you have to do it through gritted teeth), and say, “I love you.”
  • Encourage and affirm him. He does need to know that he’s still “somebody” in your eyes. You’ll probably see an immediate change in his countenance.
  • Brag on him in front of him.
  • Make love to him (willingly and happily, my husband adds). You KNOW that I couldn’t leave that out!
  • Expectations are out the window. Love your man because you just “do”, not to get something in return. God is the rewarder of all. Your blessing for loving your husband ultimately comes from Him.
  • Respect him.

I’m sure that you’ve probably read those points before. They’re nothing new, but they are oh so vital.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all you soul, with all your mind and with all your strength. This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. Mark 12:30-31

There is no neighbor closer than our own husband. It’s God’s commandment to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. We are without excuse.

When you start your day, take the time to ask and thank God for showing you how to love deeper and completely. Today may be the day that things look a little brighter for you. If you need it, ask God for a heart transformation. He’ll give it to you..when you work with Him. It may take a season of beginning to renew your mind as Romans 12:2 and Ephesians 4: 23-24 says. Keep on loving, dear heart.

Lord, I thank You for each marriage that is represented here. May You be honored in each home. Give us all a clean and pure heart before You. Thank You for Your example of love when You gave us everything that You have. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

As I write these posts, I will be writing from where I sit. I will bring the Word of God and point you in His direction first. Never will I pretend to have all answers. I’m not a counselor, but I have a passion for speaking life into marriages and seeing God’s hand move in each one.

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  1. Kela, this was awesome reminders. I forget sometimes that my husband is also my neighbor. I have trouble being the godly wife, mainly because of the pride issue of “why does it always have to be me….he’s not doing his part”. It’s a voice I have to fight back on a regular basis. The thing is, God doesn’t call me to be a loving wife based on my husband’s love for me, but for my God’s love for me.

    Thank you for these words. hey were very much needed today.

  2. Carol Lackland says:

    Kela, love the thought that my husband truly is my neighbor.
    There’s a little phrase that rolls around in my heart frequently,”you before me.” I can be
    so incredibly all about me that I need the reminder. Thank you!

  3. Thank you for sharing your BEAUTIFUL insights and wisdom with us Kela!
    You might not be a certified counselor…but you are a GIFTED and BLESSED woman of God and I am so happy to know you and be inspired by you!
    I am linking this to all of my friends today!

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